gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
