And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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