When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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