So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
