im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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