This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
are you so shy because you have an std?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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