He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize