That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
