Having a random hookup so left but love u
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
