Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
