You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
