omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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