Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize