no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
