well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
