The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
