One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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