Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
