i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize