please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
