Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My life is pants optional.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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