Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
