so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
