All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
