People with herpes should wear stickers.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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