You can't motorboat a personality
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
