she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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