Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
