And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize