North Korea, Best Korea!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
