You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
