Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just google imaged poop.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
