If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
