Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize