Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
