If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
