Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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