I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
