At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
