I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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