I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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