She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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