Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize