It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
