I smell stomach acid.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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