I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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