TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize