thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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