hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
