is your mom at the bar?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
