What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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