let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
