Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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