Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
