my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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