So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
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The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
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That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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