i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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