She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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