A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
