dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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