There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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