the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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