I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
